It’s three am, I have work at ten am, but I just feel like talking because I have a lot of thoughts bouncing around in my head and I’d like to throw them out.

Confidence. I see so many posts on Tumblr about people being unsure of themselves and doubting themselves and being socially awkward and socially stupid and not making friends easily. And what I am about to say I can simply back up by reassuring everyone that, as a child/young teenager, I was absolutely SO shy. I hated meeting new people. I hated talking to adults. I hated being in large groups of people simply because I figured they wouldn’t like me.

As a child, my father would throw me into the shark tank by making me walk over and talk to someone. A clerk at a store. A waiter at a restaurant. Anyone. Even if it was for as something as simple as asking where the milk was or how long our food would take to make or whatever, I’d cry. I’d refuse. I’d get a basic panic attack. My dad would yell at me that I couldn’t be a baby forever and I had to grow up and talk to people, otherwise I’d get walked over all my life.

Tonight at dinner, after the show, I talked about 75% of the time. My dad’s girlfriend spoke the other 20% of the time, and my dad spoke about 5% of the time. I smiled at the waitress. Told her thank you. Talked to her. Made jokes. Made eye contact. Made sure she knew she was doing her job well. I honestly think it scares my dad how suddenly I turned into this person. Of course it wasn’t suddenly, it was many years of discovering that I really don’t need to give a shit what anyone else thinks and realizing that the fact is that if I put myself myself out there, wonderful things can happen. You can meet amazing people. You can make amazing friends. You can get amazing opportunities.

The person who sat there not talking to anyone was the one who never experienced anything. I’d rather sit at a table and be the one engaging everyone in conversation and look absolutely silly than be the fuddy-duddy sitting there with a frown and a bad attitude because I don’t think anyone will like me.

Who the fuck cares? Even if they don’t like you, so what? Being a nice, funny, conversational person… what’s the worst they could say? “Oh she was weird, she talked SO MUCH and she was FRIENDLY. God, how annoying.” No one will say that. If anything you can’t be bothered with them because if they don’t talk back to you, you’ll easily forget them and move on with your life without a care.

Maybe it was a combination of theatre and my mother’s personality finally shining through, but I’ve recently become one of those people who just throws myself into the world. Me. No one else. Sure, I censor myself at times due to social appropriateness because I’m not an offensive barbarian that gets her kicks from the shock-factor, but I put myself out there because I think of all the good things that can come from it. I could discover someone just like me. I could make a new friend. I could find my soulmate. Anything as simple as singing my favorite Disney song could make a person come over and ask, “Hey… do you love Disney, too?” Just by being yourself.

So to you, whoever you are, if you’re like me and already feel totally comfortable with being yourself and letting the world see who you are, good job. Keep on keeping on. And for anyone that doesn’t, or is too shy, or too anxious about it, please, just give it a try. Relax. Breathe. Just be yourself. Life’s too short to be anything else. Not to mention it’s complicated enough trying to find people you like… shouldn’t you like yourself? ;)

ANYWAY. That’s about all. I’mma go to bed now.